Happy (Technically Day After) Suicide Prevention Day!

Sooo... yeah, you heard me right. Today (technically yesterday now, but still today to me) was/is National Suicide Prevention Day.
I'm proud of myself today. I'm proud I'm still living. I'm proud that my first suicide attempt, at age 13... and the 8 attempts following didn't work. I'm proud I was found, broken, on the bathroom floor, bleeding... but still alive. Still saveable. I'm proud that at 18, I had my (hopefully) final attempt. I'm proud it failed. I'm proud I went through treatment. I'm proud that my friends cared enough to pull me out of that dorm room, where memories of sexual abuse haunted me, and took me to a mental health crisis unit. I was so bad. I cut, I burned, I binged and purged, I wanted to die. Look... Look at me now.... 2 years later, I'm still living, still breathing. It's a struggle. Over the summer, my mom left me. I cried, I cut, I burned, I binged and purged, I starved myself. It was like trying to committ slow suicide. But... I'm still here.
Today was hard. I woke up knowing I had done so much publicity and praying over Suicide Prevention Week. Knowing that everyone I knew... they all knew where I stood. We have to prevent the best we can. I woke up not wanting to live. The depression, it still hits hard. I still have my days when all I can do is get out of bed and move through the motions. I try to really live my life. I really do, but some days are horrible, and moving through the motions become better than dying.
Today... today death was the answer to me. But... look at me... I'm still living.

For those of you struggling, comment me. I'll talk, we'll get through this together. I love you all, and as TWLOHA says "You are not alone. This is not the end of your story."

I think it's time for me to sleep now. Peace out, loves!